Teen Angst Top Five

This site promises top five lists, and so it's about time that i finally get down to one. This is called the Teen Angst Top Five, not because all these songs are angstful, but because that's what i was listening to when i was an unhappy teenager (some may argue that i still am, but that's another topic for another day.). And in a new wrinkle, most of these music videos are on youtube.com, so i'm posting the links so you can enjoy. Just click on the song name and it'll take you there.

#5. Buddy Holly - Weezer - Blue Album
It was a hard choice between this and "The Sweater Song" and really, both should be here. But, when pressed, i had to go with Buddy Holly. I think the video put me over the top, really. This wasn't so much an angstful album so much as an album that so completely articulated the awkwardness of being that age it was scary. On "Only In Dreams" my favorite line is "It's a good thing you float in the air, that way i won't crush your pretty toenails into a thousand pieces." And after Kevin on the Wonder Years and all those other shows set all us boys up for being retarded at every school dance, while the girls were more mature and always looked like they were having more fun while we just stood against the wall afraid of rejection and stepping on toes, i mean, that was just the Blue Album. I don't know of any guy my age that didn't have it. Except for Danny Bogen, who for some reason always liked rap. But he's it.

#4. Eat The Rich - Aerosmith - Get A Grip
There was an age when swearing became suddenly OK. And then it was more than OK, it was cool, and you were lame if you didn't. I remember exactly where i was when i first said Fuck. (In the desert behind Sonoran Sky elementary school, on the land that is now the JCC.) Matt Mahonen made me say it to get into their fort, and it probably took me a good 15 minutes to work up the courage. And damn wasn't that a slippery slope. But this CD also came out when the parents of America were freaking out about music and slapping parental advisory stickers on everything and my mom was one of those moms that paid attention to that stuff. So i had to hide those CDs or blackout the advisory label with a magic marker and only listen to those CDs on my headphones. So Eat The Rich was such a battle cry (even though i was a spoiled little rich kid), just because it had a cuss word in it that my mom wouldn't have liked. That's a big step for kids that age. That and the pierced cow udder on the CD cover. That was awesome.

#3. Enter Sandman - Metallica - Black Album
I'm not going to lie. I was a masssssssssssssiive Metallica fan. Every CD, every lyric, every b-side, every book, DVD, box set, everything. I loved them. I played bass like Jason Newsted, i even sang in a Metallica cover band for like a month. But this song was without a doubt my first love. This song was the door that opened up Metallica to me. Before i liked Metallica, i liked country. Then i started playing hockey with my good friend Doug and we listened to Metallica in his front yard while playing. I started to get the songs stuck in my head and eventually bought the tape...yeah that's right, the tape. Enter Sandman just had that kick to it, that chorus and that thrash that you just couldn't escape. It was perfect angry kid music. And it still is really. I liked them from about 6th grade on through to the day Jason left the band. I can still remember Alissa Butler walking down the hall towards me during 7th hour of high school with tears running down her face.

#2 - Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden - Superunknown
Speaking of tragic break-ups. This one was a hard one for me too. But without delving into that, or my disappointment with Audioslave, let's just discuss this song, because there's plenty to say about it. From that opening guitar, to the first drum kick, to Chris' voice coming in, to the dark, twisted lyrics that made zero sense, it was just good. And for some reason it made sense then. Honestly the video for this song is probably the last time i watched a video straight through on MTV. And that had to be what 10 years ago? This has to be one of the creepiest and best videos ever made. And that's what it was about then. It wasn't a commercial for your band, it wasn't interrupted by some girl on Spring Break screaming "hi my names krystal from ButtFuck, Iowa and i voted for the black hole sun video because that guy doing push-ups at the end is so hot!WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" It was a video that reflected the music and told a story and was just done for the sake of the art form, not for any other reason. And it is just too weird to ever be done today. Nobody would do it, because it wouldn't make any sense, it would scare children and it wouldn't be marketable. That's the bottom line, plain and simple. You couldn't make money on this today, because it would scare all the little cookie-cutter children we've created away. I'm going to watch this video about 9 more times before the day is over.

#1 - Bad Habit - The Offspring - Smash
Of all the parental advisories, this was the all-time best. I mean, we didn't have our licenses yet, so really, we could only imagine what driving fast and cutting people off and giving them the finger and dropping a laundry list of expletives on them would feel like. But in the mean time, it really gave us some great artillery to throw at our friends and enemies at lunch and after school. I remember being super pissed at my parents and just playing this song over and over on my headphones. Usually on long car trips. And if i really got made at them, i would sing the lyrics out loud to the whole CD but just "beep" myself when the bad words came up. It's not like they didn't know what went there, it's just that i couldn't get in trouble for saying it. HAHA. This song (and really, the whole CD) has to be #1 because the Offspring did for the pissed off kids what Weezer did for the awkward ones. Just an entire CD of fuck you, i am who i am, screw you for judging me, fuck the popular kids, i hate you, you hate me, let's go break a window kinda tunes. And keep in mind, this was a while before they went all "weird-al yankovich" on us and stunk up the joint with that "Pretty Fly For a White Guy" song. God that song sucked.


The tragedy about all these bands is that they either no longer exist, or they completely suck. And I know you hardcore Weezer fans will argue, but the Beverly Hills song sucked and you know it.

Alright, here's my recommendation for the week. And it's fitting because i spent most of those angstful years listening to these songs with my friend Donny, who is in this band. They are local and are playing shows Friday night and Saturday night this week. They just released their first CD. Here is their Myspace. Check them out. Let me know what you think in the comments.